Witnessing - Proselytizing - Defending the Faith
September 5, 2006 by Laura | Trackback URI
Ever spend a long time witnessing to family or friends, and have some shmuck who calls themselves a Christian, or even an actual Christian, act like a complete jerk to them? The person you’ve tried so hard to lead to faith feels validated in every negative stereotype of Christianity that they’ve ever heard, and basically blows off your “religion.” That happened to me recently, and there were a few things that I realized from it. My first reaction was to get angry and think, “That jerk So-and-so just dumped a bunch of litter on my mission field!” Then I remembered that it’s not MY field. It’s God’s. He does the saving, not me. I’m responsible for myself, and no one else. I learned that occasions like this are usually an opportunity to minister to the offender - who is either not a Christian, and thus in real jeopardy, or is a Christian, but has some sin issue that they need to deal with. In either case, they need prayer, and they might need more than that from me. God is sovereign, and he has the big picture in mind. I can trust God to take care of the people I was witnessing to, and in the meantime He just gave me another assignment.
But those lessons did carry over into another area of my life. One thing I’m very conscious of in the time I spend on the internet is my Christianity. The internet brings the world into my office - good and bad - and gives me a chance to interact when otherwise I would be rather isolated, since I work in a home office. I blog and comment under my actual name because I’m perfectly content to be accountable for what I write. That accountability both keeps me honest and helps keep my temper in check. When I comment on other blogs, I try to remember that I’m representing not just my opinions, but by virtue of the fact that I proclaim myself a Christian, my faith, other Christians, and most importantly, my God.
A recent conversation on a Wizbang post illustrated a quandary that I think many Christians deal with - if, or when, to not talk about their faith. The “Readers Digest” version of this is that the agnostic blogger had a long post that mentioned various faiths and problems he had with them - but the overall point of the post was his particular distrust of Islam, over and above all the other faiths mentioned. He also specifically said -
I tend to have a very laissez-faire attitude toward religion — if they don’t try to convert me, I won’t attack their faith. I think of it as a form of mutual respect.
That was pretty direct, to my way of thinking. And being practical, I concluded that there is no way I’m going to change his mind, so I’m not going to try. I prayed for God to change his mind, instead. But, naturally, the comment thread turned to witnessing - defending the faith - proselytizing. And some of “inside baseball” type debating that would have been better conducted elsewhere, in my opinion. Perhaps I’m the guilty party, because I explained a specific issue he mentioned about the bible early on in the thread. But I truly believe it would have happened anyway. After a while I posted the following -
If I may respectfully suggest to Christians who will be posting in this thread:
Don’t proselytize Jay Tea. He said, “I tend to have a very laissez-faire attitude toward religion — if they don’t try to convert me, I won’t attack their faith. I think of it as a form of mutual respect.”
By all means pray for him, but Mac Lorry and prohoridzo have probably said all there is to be said. The point of this post was not Jay Tea’s doubts about Christianity, but his distrust for Islam and why its adherents don’t take a stronger position about terrorism. Continuing to witness to him, by his own account, would be a lack of mutual respect. Which does nothing to bring him closer to faith.
Just my 2 cents…
It was not my intent to slam the two commenters, and I didn’t disagree with what they had written per se, but just to hopefully head off a whole herd of people who would re-state what those two had already said. I’ve seen that happen a lot. Non-Christians reading the thread are irritated that it has been hijacked - because the point of the post was not to discuss Christianity. It was to discuss his distrust of Islam over and above other faiths.
I know I’m butting heads with a lot of people on this… keep in mind that I’m not theologian, and also that I’m open to correction on this issue… but here’s the way I see it:
But dedicate your lives to Christ as Lord. Always be ready to defend your confidence in God when anyone asks you to explain it. However, make your defense with gentleness and respect. Keep your conscience clear. Then those who treat the good Christian life you live with contempt will feel ashamed that they have ridiculed you.
(1 Peter 3:15-16)
First, we dedicate our lives to the Lord. This makes us behave differently than other people. Then WHEN we are asked about it, make the defense with gentleness and respect. When we are living in a Godly manner, we’ll have plenty of opportunities to witness. And the lack of witnessing and saying the salvation prayer with every person we meet will not cause a single person to go to hell. Because we’re not doing the saving. We’re not salespeople, and we won’t get fired if we don’t meet our quota. There is no quota. God plucks people from the fire as He chooses, and I can’t over-rule God’s decision by either my action or my inaction.
But whom He predestinated, these He also called; and whom He called, those He also justified. And whom He justified, these He also glorified.
(Romans 8:30 MKJV)
As I see it, we are to live openly and proudly as Christians, not hiding our faith in any way. God will give us opportunities to glorify Him. God placed a devout Christian in the Jay Tea’s life already. Someone he knows well and respects. Someone who is invested in his life, that he trusts. She’s already shared her faith with him, and so far he rejects it. Are some strangers on a blog likely to change his mind? I don’t think so. I believe the appropriate response is to go and pray for him. If we believe that God is sovereign, then we know that if He wants Jay Tea to be saved then he will be saved. If God is not sovereign, then He is not God. My action or inaction in various circumstances may mean that I don’t glorify God, but even that is not a deal-breaker because God is and WILL be glorified. If we don’t do it, even the rocks will cry out and do it. The failure to glorify God is my loss, not His.
As for defending the faith -
Having made all haste to write to you about the common salvation, beloved, I had need to write to you to exhort you to contend earnestly for the faith once delivered to the saints. For certain men crept in secretly, those having been of old previously written into this condemnation, ungodly ones perverting the grace of our God for unbridled lust, and denying the only Master, God, even our Lord Jesus Christ.
(Jude 1:3-4 MKJV)
Jude was talking about not allowing doctrine to be polluted by outside influences. It says in more than one place in the bible that unbelievers can’t understand scripture (Acts, Titus, Nehemiah…) so without enlightenment by the Holy Spirit, you’re casting pearls before swine. Contending earnestly for the faith is an internal church function, to keep doctrine pure, not an external function, because those not in the body of Christ can’t understand it anyway. You can’t lawyer somebody into Christianity by clever arguments. I used the word “strategy” in the thread at Wizbang, and I wish I hadn’t because it doesn’t accurately reflect what I was thinking. If we just glorify God at every opportunity, and let Him work in us and others, witnessing will take care of itself.
Excellent post. I agree 100%. My wife recently posted on our blog that she is a new Christian and last night we had a conversation very similar to this. Your words will speak better what I couldn’t. Thanks!
Excellent! This is something I encounter a lot…especially since I frequent at least one athiest blog. I love the way you handled it, and you also gave me some food for thought. Thanks!
I greatly appreciate the thoughts and sentiments, but I feel I ought to clarify a few points. You focused on a side element of my piece (which you acknowledge), but that means that I didn’t spend enough time to properly spell out that while rushing headlong into my main point. As such, I feel I owe you a bit of clarification.
(Before you ask, we agnostics do NOT begin our prayers with “To Whom It May Concern.”)
I have no problems discussing religious matters per se. In fact, I find certain elements fascinating — tales of Biblical archaeology, for example. I once read a book that gave real-world applications and rationalizations for things stated as matter-of-fact in the Bible. For example, it debunks the Shroud of Turin by pointing out that the figure on it is 5′9″ — and therefore was NOT likely Christ. That was well above average height for Jesus’ time, and one would think that there would be at least one citation in the Bible if he was so remarkably tall — a reference to “looking over people’s heads,” or “towering above the rest,” or even “the tall one.” One can logically infer, then, that Christ was of average height for his time, and several inches shorter than the figure on the Shroud.
It also explains the “moneychangers in the Temple” incident. Jerusalem was the largest city in the Holy Land, and the Holy Land sat astride three continents (Europe, Asia, and Africa) and was the crossroads for three Empires (Roman, Persian, Egyptian). As such, it was a logical place for travelers to change currency to match where they were going. As the Temple was on the highest point (visible from most of the city) and well known to all the locals, it was a logical place for the moneychangers to gather and practice their business. And it was a good business deal for the priests in the Temple to allow them to lease space in the courtyard and in parts of the Temple proper.
No, my hostility is reserved strictly for those who try to push their faith on me. If someone starts preaching to me, I will politely demur. If they fail to take the hint, I will continue to demur in gradually decreasing levels of politeness. On rare occasions it has reached the point where it is obvious they value their “duty” to preach greater than they respect my wishes and beliefs, and at that point I realize I have nothing to gain in continuing to maintain my courtesy in the face of their flagrant disrespect and let loose with some truly harsh and ugly language and behavior.
I have done so very rarely, and haven’t enjoyed it in the least. (Well, that’s not true. It is rather cathartic, and a few times I’ve been insufferably pleased with my creativity.) But it’s never been the run-of-the-mill Christians that have pushed me so far. It’s the “Jesus Freaks,” the die-hard, insufferable evangelicals that have done it. One in particular argued that since I said such things as “Oh, God” and “Jesus Christ” as expletives, I HAD to believe. (I once mentioned this to a Jewish girlfriend who had a fondness for saying JC’s name in frustration. She found it most amusing, and we decided that it was more of a sign of her devotion to Judaism — she felt the need to blaspheme, but respected her own faith enough to go outside of it to properly cuss.)
I’m not one of those God-hating angry athiests. I do not deny His existence, I am just fundamentally incapable of accepting it as a fact. I can not and will not “fake” it for any reason, though — it is just too important a matter. I choose to disbelieve in a God who will accept pronouncements of faith as valid and not see through to my inner doubts and lack of sincerity. I find myself living my life just trying to do the best I can, be the best person I can, and hope that all that will be taken into account in case there is a final reckoning. If, after I die, I find myself face to face with God (or St. Peter or any other representative), I want to be able to look them in the eye (presuming we have eyes) and say “no, I did not worship You and accept You, but I lived my life as best I could, did what I could to help others, and tried to make the world a better place and people’s lives a little better.” And the God I choose to believe may exist will accept that and judge me accordingly.
I meant what I said most literally — “don’t try to convert me.” Don’t avoid the whole subject entirely, don’t tapdance around what is obviously a major factor of your life, but don’t try to push me into embracing it alongside you. It will not work, and it will only alienate me from you — and, possibly, sour my opinion on any faith that inspires such behavior.
My friend Candy understands this. She is indeed an evangelical Christian, but has never preached to me because she KNOWS how poorly that will work. Instead, she casually mentions her Church activities, certain experiences she’s had there, dilemmas she’s experienced and how her faith has helped her resolve them, and so on. Her faith is a major part of her life, and for her to exclude that from our relationship would be crazy.
Hmm… I guess, in a sense, she IS “preaching” to me, but in a subtle and polite manner that doesn’t bother me. She’s smart, and she knows that that approach, if any, will work on me. And I don’t mind in the least.
Wow, I’m long-winded. I might end up plagiarizing a bit from myself for a posting over at Wizbang — I’d hate to let this much verbage not get used over at my own page.
Anyway, since you’d spent far more time discussing a part of my piece than I had in writing it (or even thinking about), I felt I “owed” you an elaboration on what I casually tossed off while getting to my main point. You seemed to find a lot of value in the discussion, and I thought it appropriate if you got a clearer, more focused look into the mind of one particular agnostic. As I said, it’s not the topic that gets to me in the least, it’s that one too-common approach that tends to bring out my worse aspects. And let me repeat my thanks for your polite disagreement with Mac and pro on their well-intentioned but nonetheless irritating comments.
Dang, this is going to absolutely SHRED my reputation as a bit of an ogre when provoked…
J.
Thanks for your comment, J. - I was certainly surprised to see it! I took you at your word, “if they don’t try to convert me,” and didn’t conclude that meant you were hostile to all talk of faith. But the post and subsequent comments were such a perfect illustration of well-meaning Christians wasting time and energy on the wrong things that I couldn’t resist expounding on it a bit over here. If the main topic of your post was about the merits of Christianity, I’d have jumped in with both feet, because that’s joining a discussion you initiated. But it wasn’t, and I felt it was clear that you didn’t want to be preached at. If your friend Candy - whom I believe God placed in your life deliberately so you can see Him in her - can’t persuade you, who am I to try? Can some stranger’s anonymous comment trump anything you’ve personally seen in her life? I don’t think so. If God is who I think He is, then the best thing I can do is pray for you. If God isn’t, then at least I didn’t aggravate you for no reason. Naturally I think I’m right…
but endlessly repeating that won’t persuade you.
Really, I just wanted to make the point that it’s Christianity, not Amway. (Hey - that’s kind of catchy! Note to self: future post title.
) I don’t mean to imply I’m lassaiz-faire about sharing my faith - I’m not. I wanted to take the high-pressure-sales factor out of the equation, because no individual Christian can close the deal - only God. So I have to be honest - I refrain from proselytizing for no other reason than that it is completely ineffective. If there was some way I could *make* you - and everyone else - be saved, I would. But no such way exists, and it’s between you and God. My job is not to sell it, it’s to live it.
One nit to pick, and a suggestion - the Shroud of Turin is not in the bible. And I too love to learn about Biblical archeology - here are some shows on the Discovery Channel that I particularly enjoyed, if you didn’t catch them the first time, keep an eye out for the reruns because I think you’d like them also. The History Channel also has a few like that, but I couldn’t find a link.
No worries.