Pursuing Holiness

Many people think Christian women are anti-sex because we tend to dress modestly and don’t flaunt our sexuality. The fact is that religious women enjoy sex more than our secular sisters. That said, pornography isn’t sex. It’s abuse; harmful to everyone who participates in it, including the consumer - mostly men, but a fair percentage of women as well. This clip from an Albert Mohler sermon illustrates why it’s harmful:

Consider these two pictures. The first picture is of a man who has set himself toward a commitment to sexual purity, and is living in sexual integrity with his wife. In order to fulfill his wife’s rightful expectations and to maximize their mutual pleasure in the marriage bed, he is careful to live, to talk, to lead, and to love in such a way that his wife finds her fulfillment in giving herself to him in love. The sex act then becomes a fulfillment of their entire relationship, not an isolated physical act that is merely incidental to their love for each other. Neither uses sex as means of manipulation, neither is inordinately focused merely on self-centered personal pleasure, and both give themselves to each other in unapologetic and unhindered sexual passion. In this picture, there is no shame. Before God, this man can be confident that he is fulfilling his
responsibilities both as a male and as a man. He is directing his sexuality, his sex drive, and his physical embodiment toward the one-flesh relationship that is the perfect paradigm of God’s intention in creation.

By contrast, consider another man. This man lives alone, or at least in a context other than holy marriage. Directed inwardly rather than outwardly, his sex drive has become an engine for lust and self-gratification. Pornography is the essence of his sexual interest and arousal. Rather than taking satisfaction in his wife, he looks at dirty pictures in order to be rewarded with sexual arousal that comes without responsibility, expectation, or demand. Arrayed before him are a seemingly endless variety of naked women, sexual images of explicit carnality, and a cornucopia of perversions intended to seduce the imagination and corrupt the soul.

This man need not be concerned with his physical appearance, his personal hygiene, or his moral character in the eyes of a wife. Without this structure an accountability, he is free to take his sexual pleasure without regard for his unshaved face, his slothfulness, his halitosis, his body odor, and his physical appearance. He faces no requirement of personal respect, and no eyes gaze upon him in order to evaluate the seriousness and worthiness of his sexual desire. Instead, his eyes roam across the images of unblinking faces, leering at women who make no demands upon him, who never speak back, and who can never say no. There is no exchange of respect, no exchange of love, and nothing more than the using of women as sex objects for his individual and inverted sexual pleasure.

By logical consequence, he achieves sexual gratification at the expense of women who have been used and abused as commodified sex objects. He may imagine a sex act as he fulfills his physical pleasure, but he almost certainly does not imagine what it would mean to be responsible for this woman as husband and accountable to her as mate. He can sit in his soiled underwear, belching the remnants of last night’s pizza, and engage in a pattern of one-handed sexual satisfaction while he “surfs the net” and forfeits his soul.

These two pictures of male sexuality are deliberately intended to drive home the point that every man must decide who he will be, whom he will serve, and how he will love. In the end, a man’s decision about pornography is a decision about his soul, a decision about his marriage, a decision about his wife, and a decision about God.

Pornography is a slander against the goodness of God’s creation and a corruption of this good gift God has given his creatures out of his own self-giving love. To abuse this gift is to weaken, not only the institution of marriage, but the fabric of civilization itself. To choose lust over love is to debase humanity and to worship the false god Priapus in the most brazen form of modern idolatry.

There’s been a bit of a traffic surge this week as Pursuing Holiness is evidently back in the top five results for a popular pornography search. With that in mind, I’m reposting Porn: Battering Women By Proxy.

A recent round of search referrals has convinced me that it’s time for “laura loves katrina” redux. About six months after Hurricane Katrina (we only had about $15k worth of wind damage so we were able to get home soon after the hurricane) I noticed that this blog was getting some very peculiar search referrals. I followed the link and noticed that PH was #1 for a search for a porn site. I needed the laugh. Why would anyone who is seeking porn go to the domain www.pursuingholiness.com? It’s very perplexing. But they do. One of the youth in my church, with a little assistance from me, made a video after Hurricane Katrina. I posted it. Hence the search results. I finally added to that post this link:

If you’re looking for Laura loves Katrina video then click here.

Setting Captives Free is a free, mentored, online bible study that assists people who are addicted to pornography. It is partnered with John Piper’s ministry, Desiring God.

In June, I posted this, more as a joke than anything. Since the original video was posted, PH has done the Google dance for that search term, and I’ve kept an eye on search referrals. Subsequent posts having absolutely nothing to do with pornography have “gained” referrals from those seeking video of women being raped, and other even more creepy referrals. There are a lot of sick people in the world. What I used to consider a bit of a joke is now profoundly sad, and an occasion for prayer.

I used to believe that pornography was victimless. I defended it the same way I defend “hate speech” and other thoughtcrimes. Well, in some ways, I still do defend it. There’s no practical way to outlaw pornography, and even if there were I would not advocate it because as a Christian, what I say is even more hateful in the eyes of some people. We can’t afford to restrict something classified as speech. The best way to counter it is with more speech - to convince people that it’s a real problem.

Pornography is not victimless. Donny Pauling, a former porn producer and currently of Donny’s Ramblings, can give you a look at what goes on behind the scenes. Shelley Lubben is a former porn star who eloquently expresses the pain pornography causes.

It’s safe to say most women who turn to porn acting as a money-making enterprise, probably didn’t grow up in healthy childhoods either. Indeed, many actresses admit they’ve experienced sexual abuse, physical abuse, verbal abuse and neglect by parents. Some were raped by relatives and molested by neighbors. When we were little girls we wanted to play with dollies and be mommies, not have big scary men get on top of us. The same horrible violations we experienced then, we relive through as we perform our tricks for you in front of the camera. And we hate every minute of it. We’re traumatized little girls living on anti-depressants, drugs and alcohol acting out our pain in front of YOU who continue to abuse us.

In short, pornography abuses women. If you can read the above paragraph and still feel a strong attraction for pornography… then you are abusive. You batter women by proxy.

Most people do not think of pornography that way. It was a harsh statement, but I stand by it. Supporting the porn industry is just as bad as beating a woman. Perhaps worse, because it’s not just a beating - it’s a sponsored beating.

That doesn’t mean I’m without sympathy for those who are addicted to porn or caught in its web. But solving a problem begins with understanding the nature of the problem. Pornography is an inherently lonely activity, and it can never bring lasting satisfaction or happiness. It’s a sad, short term fix for a deeper problem.

One of the saddest things about this issue is that Christians are just as likely to view porn as anyone else:

* August 7,2006: 50% of all Christian men and 20% of all Christian women are addicted to pornography. 60% of the women who answered the survey admitted to having significant struggles with lust; 40% admitted to being involved in sexual sin in the past year; and 20% of the church-going female participants struggle with looking at pornography on an ongoing basis. From the results of a ChristiaNet poll reported by Marketwire.com

If you use pornography, remember that you are not just hurting yourself. You are sponsoring continued injury to the people who make it. If you are married, you are hurting your spouse. If you are a Christian, you are hurting your relationship with God. Free help is available. Take it.

If you still somehow buy into the idea that women enjoy making pornography, read this excerpt from Shelley Lubben’s upcoming book “The Truth Behind the Fantasy of Porn” -

Many believe the widespread fairytale that women enjoy making porn movies but in reality there are no happy endings for the women of porn. Women do NOT enjoy making porn movies and a closer behind-the-scenes look will show you several reasons why.

In the world of hardcore sex, an average day on the set for a porn actress is a long and tedious process. Women are told to come in around 8 am for makeup but it’s only to make sure porn actresses arrive on time to work. Porn stars have a habit of arriving late because they’re often hung over from drugs or alcohol from the night before.

After make up, porn actresses usually wait around long hours until it’s their turn to do their scene. Some scenes take an hour and some take several hours to film. It really depends if the male actor in the first scene could “perform” or not. It also depends if female actresses have to stop the clock because they can’t handle the pain of a hardcore sex scene.

While waiting around, jaded porn performers usually end up in the rest rooms with bottles of alcohol and lines of speed or outside in their cars for a heroin fix or gathered in the back yard with other actors to smoke marijuana.

To add to the mind-numbing process, women are never able to experience sexual pleasure because of the continuous cutting during sex scenes. In the background the director constantly yells, “cut” and the flow of action is interrupted in order to get a better shot, adjust lighting or to wipe up bodily fluids. Repeatedly pornographers stop the scenes and ask actors to “freeze” in position during very hardcore sex acts, which causes great physical and emotional pain for porn actresses.

I speak from personal experience when I say to be in the middle of a hardcore sex act with several actors at the same time and told to “freeze” in position for several minutes while lighting or cameras are adjusted is extremely painful and degrading. It’s also very humiliating when scenes are stopped in order to wipe up bodily fluids such as semen, feces and blood.

Despite the fact that women do not enjoy making porn movies, they continue to lie to their fans and proudly insist they enjoy making porn movies. Of course they do. They get paid hundreds and thousands of dollars to lie because this is their occupation. Porn stars are paid professional liars who know how to “act” and they do it well. In fact, because porn stars spend a great deal time in front of the camera and never step out of character, they usually have greater acting abilities than mainstream Hollywood actors.

I used to brag endlessly to fans and pornographers about my extreme “Italian” sex drive and how I loved making porn movies. I would go on and on about how I needed more and more to fulfill my insatiable appetite. I lied 100% of the time to 100% of the people. Lying is the native language of porn stars because they can’t afford to tell you the truth. Not only would it ruin the fantasy for their fans but more importantly, it would ruin the amount of their paychecks. Don’t believe porn actresses when they proudly proclaim they enjoy making porn movies. They’re ACTING.

Don’t believe the lie. Get help for porn addiction now.

Setting Captives Free can help.

Trackposted to Outside the Beltway, The Virtuous Republic, Perri Nelson’s Website, Big Dog’s Weblog, Right Truth, Shadowscope, The Pet Haven Blog, Leaning Straight Up, The Amboy Times, Rightlinx, third world county, Pirate’s Cove, Nuke’s news and views, The Pink Flamingo, Right Voices, Blog @ MoreWhat.com, DeMediacratic Nation, Maggie’s Notebook, Adam’s Blog, Webloggin, The Bullwinkle Blog, Cao’s Blog, Conservative Cat, Jo’s Cafe, Allie Is Wired, The Crazy Rants of Samantha Burns, The World According to Carl, Blue Star Chronicles, Planck’s Constant, Gone Hollywood, The Yankee Sailor, and OTB Sports, thanks to Linkfest Haven Deluxe.

written by Laura