Totally Like Whatever

Valley Girl-speak was all the rage when I was in high school, and as far as I can recall, that’s when “go” replaced the verb “to say” and when “like” leaped out of the simile corral and roamed free, becoming the most popular filler word evar! I don’t really have a problem with teens speaking a certain way – every generation has its slang – but it does seem to me that about that time people starting losing the ability to think. Too many people speak in interrogatives, as though they’re seeking approval at the end of every sentence. This poem illustrates the phenomenon perfectly. Here’s a sample, but you should go listen to the entire thing on the NPR website.
‘Totally Like Whatever’ by Taylor Mali

Declarative sentences — so-called
because they used to, like, DECLARE things to be true
as opposed to other things which were, like, not -
have been infected by a totally hip
and tragically cool interrogative tone? You know?
Like, don’t think I’m uncool just because I’ve noticed this;
this is just like the word on the street, you know?
It’s like what I’ve heard?
I have nothing personally invested in my own opinions, okay?
I’m just inviting you to join me in my uncertainty?

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