Lately my response to the news is along the lines of, “You’re kidding, right?” I feel as though I’ve tumbled into an alternate universe where Spock has a groovy-looking goatee. (Can we get some agonizers implanted in members of Congress? Pretty please?)  Consider these stories:

Couple accused of assault with a deadly snack food. We thought Cheetos were just a tasty snack that clogged your arteries and made you fat.  Little did we all know they were useful weapons when committing domestic assault. And if you live in a trailer park, they come with an extra +2 attack bonus and do an extra +2d6 damage.

From the Just Making Stuff Up Department, Obamacare will now cost a mere $1,000,000,000,000 instead of $1,600,000,000,000.  Your tax dollars at work! Unfortunately, this is medieval medicine – prepare to be bled. [Read more...]