Not-So-Casual Sex

There’s a moment I simply love in the movie The Witches of Eastwick. Felicia Alden, the stereotyped uptight, hysterical prude, informs her husband, “Oh, Clyde, I have nothing against a good f***, but there is danger here and somebody has to do something about it.”  Conservatives have an entirely unwarranted reputation as being anti-sex, simply because we generally view sexual activity as private, adult behavior. The brutal truth is that conservative, religious women have more satisfying sex lives than our liberal, secular sisters. That’s not just my opinion. That’s science. University of Chicago, no less.

Sister Toldjah has a thoughtful post on Raquel Welch’s recent advice to young women: “Come on girls! Time to pull up our socks! We’re capable of so much better.” Yes, we are. And as Sister Toldjah points out, Hollywood could be a force for good in this area, if it chose to:

I’ve said it a thousand times before and I’ll say it again: Whether or not we like it, Hollywood plays a signficant role in our culture and holds a great deal of influence over many young people. In spite of the disastrous aftermath of the “free love” movement and the government’s gross enabling of a responsibility-free society back in the late 60s, just imagine what our culture would be like if young and old Hollywood alike – instead of preaching the message that casual sex … and sex-related “activities” … should remain acceptable to young folks (and for that matter, adults, too) – made more movies about young adults being responsible with their bodies, not having them jump into bed with someone right after the first kiss? What if Hollywood, instead of cutting PSAs about condom usage, instead cut PSAs about “just saying no” to sex? No, this wouldn’t change everything, but it would send a strong signal that it was not “cool” to be such a free spirit with your body, and perhaps the “if it feels good, do it” mentality would slowly start to exit stage left.

And getting back to the science of sex, what Hollywood doesn’t tell kids about all this artsy, magical, consequence-free sex they insist on portraying is that when you have an orgasm – women especially – oxytocin and dopamine are released into the body.  Those chemicals help form an emotional bond with your partner.  So while your “safe sex” regimen may include methods to help protect you from pregnancy and STDs, you can’t protect your heart.  Your own body is fighting against you.  That’s why sex within marriage is so great – because it bonds the committed couple together – and casual sex generally leads to heartbreak and turmoil.  Casual sex is building a house without a foundation.

I realize Hollywood – with it’s twisted child-rapist supporting values – is unlikely to backtrack on this issue.  But I’d dearly love to see even just one or two movies a year that portray a married couple with a healthy sexual relationship.