I’ve been out of the office the past few days for several reasons, so posting has been nonexistent/light. I’ve had time to moderate a few comments, but that’s been about it. One of my clients died suddenly, and I’ve had some personal issues to deal with including feeling like absolute crap physically. I did manage to get to the wake – it was such a tragedy for such a young man to die. He had just turned 31, and died in a car accident. The same thing happened to my cousin – also 31 – in June, and I wasn’t able to go to the funeral. I’m reposting what I wrote about it at the time.
This wake was much like my cousin’s had been described, although for my cousin there were quite a few political figures from his state, whereas at this wake, there were celebrities. I don’t follow entertainment news – with the exception of being force-fed information about Paris Hilton by Fox, CNN, and MSNBC – but I saw a lot of familiar faces and couldn’t connect the names other than Christie Brinkley, Cindy Lauper and Lenny Kravitz. My client, like my cousin, had a remarkable life, ended without warning. It’s very sobering. And it reminds me that today is the day that we choose what will be written about us when we’re gone.
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Write Your Own Obituary
I suffer from some chronic health problems, but nothing life-threatening. Nevertheless, I not only have a will, but my funeral service is planned right down to the music; songs that I think will comfort whoever I leave behind. I have not, however, written my own obituary. At least not directly. I certainly can control what’s in it as far as source material. Sunday morning, my uncle heard the words no parent wants to hear. His son is gone.
[Larry], 31, of **** and ****, passed away in **** on June 10, 2007 from injuries received in a motor vehicle accident. [He was driving home in a bad fog, very early in the morning after a kayaking trip.]Larry was … a published freelance photojournalist and his photos and articles were published in papers such as ****.
Larry lived life to the fullest and was an avid outdoor enthusiast. He was a skilled whitewater kayaker, and enjoyed spending time on the rivers with his many friends across the country. He also enjoyed downhill skiing and did so in the Swiss Alps as well as numerous mountains in the U.S. Among his many other interests were tele-skiing, ice and rock climbing, biking and motorcycling. Larry also was known as an environmentalist and animal-rights activist.
Larry and his friends enjoyed rebuilding vintage Land Rovers and one local paper described him as “able to build a four-wheel drive out of the junk in your basement.” His friends describe him as a natural comedian with a quick wit and always willing to do anything to help a friend. He will be remembered as a great son and brother and will be sadly missed.
Sounds like a pretty good life, doesn’t it? Anything missing? Right now, our whole family is shocked and grieving. A death, especially one as unexpected as this, a man as young as Larry was, shakes you up, breaks the routine as family members all over the country scramble to get to a small town in Maine where the funeral will be held. And moments like this make you reflect. Why him? Why not me? Why not you? What comfort is available for my aunt and uncle right now? Their grief must be unbearable. But they have to bear it. So we get in cars, trains and planes to go see if we can shoulder part of that burden. We can’t, really. But maybe the knowledge that so many would like to will be a comfort to them. And maybe they’ll turn to the One who can carry that load – whose yoke is easy and whose burden is light. I hope they will.
What would you like to see written about you when you’re gone? Sooner or later it will be your turn. Today is the day you get to choose what people will say about you when you can no longer speak for yourself.
