Some Women Should Just GROW UP Already

Via Rachel Lucas, who got it from Dr. Helen: a Cosmo-style whiny bratfest of an article in, of all places, a men’s magazine.
Relationship Conflicts: Your Annoying Habits. It includes eight things that the writer thinks men should stop doing to women. Just some friendly advice on how they can better serve us, I guess. Rachel already replied with a list of eight things of her own. But here’s the part of the original article that made me want to spank the writer like the bratty child that she is. [My comments are bracketed and bold.]

The biggest fight in my relationship has been replayed more times than Beyoncé’s tumble in Orlando. [Then figure out a more adult way of managing your relationship, you twit!] It usually happens something like this: First, after 3 or 4 hours of silent abuse by me, [for which he was probably grateful if this article is any indicator of your lack of depth] my boyfriend starts to suspect something’s up. [If he's that stupid, why are you with him? You slam men so reflexively you don't even realize you're doing it, do you?]

“I know you’re annoyed,” he says. “What did I do?” [A good start; he certainly sounds like a grown up.]

“You didn’t do anything,” I say. “It’s fine, whatever. I’m not annoyed.” [A pointless, childish lie. You played your "silent abuse" game to get attention; now you have it. Happy yet?]

“Just tell me.”

This goes on for hours [hmm... a new technique for Gitmo; import some bratty women like this one to interrogate prisoners] until I finally blurt it out: “You didn’t introduce me when we ran into that guy you work with! And why do you need to go out to brunch with your ex?” Then I feel silly for letting such small things bother me, and we laugh and roll around on the bed and all is right again in our world. [Maybe he's embarrassed by you. I am, and I haven't even met you. And there are any number of reasons why he's going to brunch with his ex, but I'd certainly consider that maybe he wants another chance with her. Maybe she's more grown up than you are.]

But he raises a good point: Most of the time he has no idea of what sets me off. [Because you're too obnoxious and self-centered to just tell him. You feel oh-so-special if he stresses and works to figure it out. Life's too short to deal with people like you. Seriously.] Which is why I’ve prepared this handy inventory of things men tend to do that we tend to find annoying. [Because it's all about you, You, YOU!] If you study up, you’ll be able to stop repelling the women you want to meet — or aggravating the one you have. And we women can continue not telling you why we’re mad, because we’ll figure, “Hey, he should know already!” [That's right, women have no obligation to grow up and act like rational people in relationships. We have vaginas, so that makes it all okay, right?] Besides, who said this would be fair?

I have put a lot of work and effort into raising my just-turned-eighteen year old daughter so that she’ll never behave this way. While she does have her faults, she is a direct, honest, non-game-playing person who is more adult at eighteen than many thirty year olds I know. If I’m angry at my husband – after I’ve given it some thought and if I still think I have a legitimate gripe – I tell him plainly that I’m upset and why:

“I wish you had talked to me before you agreed to go out to dinner with Joe and Jane. Jane gets on my last nerve because she’s a manipulative, whiny, self-centered brat.”

“Do you want me to cancel?”

“No, we’re stuck with it now, but next time check, okay?”

“Sure, no problem.”

There. That was easy. That was two adults communicating. Granted, I know I’m no prize. I’m demanding, impatient, and intolerant of many things. I struggle to control my temper sometimes. Like right now, for example. And when I lose my temper, he knows I’m going to come back with an apology and a willingness to speak calmly about whatever the problem is.  But women – or these children in women’s bodies – who manipulate and play games to control men drive me right up a wall. If you’re old enough to be in a relationship where you “roll around on the bed” i.e. an adult, sexual relationship, then you’re old enough to speak honestly and directly about how you feel. If you can’t do the latter, you’re not mature enough to do the former. Grow up, already!

It is better to live in a corner of the housetop than in a house shared with a quarrelsome wife.
(Proverbs 25:24)

A continual dripping on a rainy day and a quarrelsome wife are alike; to restrain her is to restrain the wind or to grasp oil in one’s right hand.
(Proverbs 27:15-16)

An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels. The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life.
(Proverbs 31:10-12)