I keep the news on while I work, toggling back and forth between Fox, CNN, and CSPAN. An upcoming feature on Fox described the new Kibbles and Bits “Smoochable Pooch” contest.

I love my cats. I have had dogs in the past that it just broke my heart to lose. So I’m far from anti-pet. I absolutely love the Father of the Bride movies, but the scene where Steven Martin and Diane Keaton arrive to stay in their in-law’s home… John MacKenzie (Peter Michael Goetz) allows the dog to lick his mouth. While it’s open. (ewwww!!)

I don’t want to hear about dog behavior and pack mentality, or that the level of bacteria is less than in human’s mouths… here’s a newsflash –

Dogs lick their butts.

So I guess during the length of this contest we’ll be seeing lots of dogs licking faces, but I have to tell you, that’s just flat disgusting. Maybe I’m channeling St. Andrew of the Sacred Heartache after reading this, but that is gob-smackingly vile and having to watch it should be classified as torture.