The Daughter of the House turned 16 today, which seems incredible but is undeniably true. A lot of people dread the teen years, and probably with justification. I used to be one of them, and I had good reason to be. I was working a lot of hours and when I got home I did not go the extra mile and spend any serious amount of time with her. When I got home, I paid a little attention to her but generally did my own thing. That was a mistake that caused our family a lot of misery and is one of the biggest regrets of my life. Here’s the thing – if you don’t have a relationship with your child, by the time they get to be a teenager their life, and yours, will be a misery. “Quality time” is a myth. Quantity matters. Turn off the TV and talk to them, take a walk around the block, do anything but make sure you engage them, and give them your full, undivided attention. If they resist, persist. We were fortunate that God rescued our family when He did. We got into a good church that made all the difference. Instead of having artificial barriers between parents and youth, where the youth go to each other or to the youth pastor with their problems, the relationship between parents and youth is encouraged and tight relationships are the norm. What I learned is that more than anything my daughter needed me to be a parent, and when I finally stepped up to the plate, I found that the teenage years are something to be enjoyed, not feared. This is the kind of young woman I am blessed with:
Let no one despise your youth, but be an example of the believers, in word, in conduct, in love, in spirit, in faith, in purity.
(1 Timothy 4:12)
I thank God for her every day.
