Some women just can’t be pleased. First they harp incessantly about how unfair it is that men don’t do “their fair share” of the cooking. Now they whine about “the rise of the kitchen bitch.“
Last week’s lecture from my husband—“Can I say something?”—concerned the baked potato. [...] Nonetheless, any woman ever put to shame at her own stove will recognize the type. Yes, I am married to a kitchen bitch.
Some days I really do hate women. If a man wrote an article describing his wife or significant other as a “kitchen bitch” we’d never hear the end of it. She mentions two other such articles, making it a trend. For years, women – feminists in particular – have stridently demanded men step up! Do their share! Cook, clean, and take an equal part in child care! And now that they’ve stepped up to the plate, so to speak, we have to hear whinging that they’re too good at it. The author admits “seething with petty rage and self-pity.” A sensible response to those feelings is to figure out why you’re being such an ass and get over yourself. A sensible response is to avoid the passive aggressive behavior she admitted she engaged in, and speak to her husband like she would any adult. How hard is it to thank him for his efforts, compliment his cooking, and explain that when it’s her turn to cook she’d rather do so without his input? Though it’s not his intention, the critiques are making cooking less fun for her and wouldn’t now be a good time for him to take Junior to the park, or watch a video together? I’ve yet to meet the man who isn’t grateful to be addressed directly in that fashion, rather than have to decode my behavior and guess – as though I were a pre-verbal child – what it is I want from him.
Hey, everyone’s got to work their marriage out in their own way. And the author seems to have eventually figured out a way to deal with her admitted pettiness and jealousy. Sort of… if you can call “racing home” in order to get to the stove first dealing with it. I obviously have little tolerance for the passive aggressive. (Nor do I intend to develop tolerance for them. But that’s a post for another day.) But addressing the problem she describes generally, since this seems to be a trend, I have to ask: can women take the rational view, as we’ve always declared we’re fully capable of doing?
It is ridiculous bordering on insane to demand men comply with our wishes and then get angry when they do. If nothing else, calling grown men or for that matter, anyone, “kitchen bitches” is completely inappropriate. It’s a disgusting double standard and any woman who uses that term – especially about the life partner whom she presumably promised to love and cherish, or some such verbiage – should be ashamed.
Added: Althouse tackles this in her own inimitable way.