Some heartbreaking testimony from Margaret Feeney, the widow of a murder victim, at the murderer’s sentencing:
“My personal desire for you, Mr. Seals, is that you should feel all the pain my husband felt on July 26, 1991,” she said. “I’m choosing to forgive you, not because you deserve forgiveness, but because my Jesus tells me to forgive you. … I will struggle to forgive you every day of my life.”
What tremendous strength and faith. Please remember her in your prayers.
I think the idea of “forgiving” criminals is actually unbiblical. Forgiveness means you don’t seek any vengeance. If you prosecute someone or testify at their trial, by definition you are seeking vengeance. You can’t “forgive” someone while trying to kill them or put them in prison.
I guess you could always say, “Well, the individual forgives, while handing the criminal over to the government, God’s agent of wrath.” But if that’s the case, then it pretty much admits that saying “I forgive you” to a convicted criminal has no meaning. It sounds, like when the former pope “forgave” his attempted assassin, but ultimately it’s a little silly.
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err, I meant to say, “It sounds good,” as in, “It’s mainly for show.”
No, it’s not really meaningless. It’s about releasing that anger and letting God work in your heart so you can finally get to the point described in Thomas Watson’s forgiveness definition:
1. resisting revenge,
2. not returning evil for evil,
3. wishing them well,
4. grieving at their calamities,
5. praying for their welfare,
6. seeking reconciliation so far as it depends on you,
7. and coming to their aid in distress.
A lot of people might never get past #2 – this is a process, after all, and a very painful one at that. But forgiveness is about our own growth as a Christian as much as it is for the benefit of the forgivee.
Well, that’s a pretty good list, and you’re right about the psychological benefits of letting go. But my point is that, biblically, we can’t wish everyone well. According to the Bible, we should seek the death of murderers. Wishing a murderer well or coming to his aid would align us with evil.
Apparently in the above case, the guy isn’t getting the death penalty (unfortunately), but wishing him well would technically mean seeking his freedom. We certainly shouldn’t desire that.
On the other hand, if by “forgiveness” you simply mean praying for his repentence and desiring his spiritual salvation, that idea makes sense. (Even the government usually offers death row inmates a chaplain, to increase their opportunity for repentence.) It’s a limited form of forgiveness, but it certainly satisfies the definition.
I think praying for his repentence and desiring his salvation is the ultimate well-wishing.
Really, the only one that matters.